100 Days Sober !

Hurray to 100 days

Yesterday, I completed 100 days of being clean. Clean in the context of No Alcohol or anything to feel euphoric. I had long thought of a phase of life where I would not need to drink socially or compulsively. I was never successful as my resolve was never firm. I knew that alcohol was bad for my health but I never took the idea of going clean seriously. I always thought that I would leave it one day if it got out of hand. Another thought was to continue it as a lifestyle and make 2 drinks the limit.

I never succeeded in containing my intake whenever I got down drinking. Be it friends coming over to my place, be it hanging out with colleagues, be it meeting a friend after a long time, be it an anniversary, a Saturday, or socializing, I ended up drinking more than I initially thought. This went on to points where I would be the last one standing and pushing for another round of drinks. The result- I ended up binge drinking on most occasions.

The turning point came slowly. I realized I was wasting my time, money, energy, and youth in a pursuit that I did not enjoy. Alcohol felt good but did not make me content. In fact, it spoiled the next day when I would recover from the hangover and assess the damage to my health the last night would have made.

Being health conscious, I always had guilt attacks the next day. I would invariably feel let down by my actions. Alcohol loosens your willpower and makes you less in control of your resolve. All inhibitions lose grip when you are drunk. Your drive increases, and you need an outlet to satiate it. If my partner was not around, I ended up gravitating towards reading erotic stories. This was the worst part. Alcohol thus harmed from all fronts- physical, emotional, and spiritual.

This year in early January, I got comprehensive blood work done. It included 134 tests. The report opened my eyes to my current state of health. Although I had a good outcome on most of the tests, my Liver tests did not show a healthy picture. I had SGOT and SGPT enzymes beyond the normal limits. 

It was not alarmingly high but it surely unsettled me. I had always thought that I was healthy enough to qualify for all tests. A poor liver function test was never in my thoughts. But the binge drinking in the month of December last year proved me wrong. Alcohol destroys your liver. It is a proven fact. We live in India and I love to eat from outside. I want to have a margin in life where if I catch Hepatitis-E, I should have some liver functioning to bear it.

The next turning point came around the same time when I listened to Huberman’s podcast on Alcohol and its effect on the body. I was surprised to know that even a small quantity of alcohol was not good for health. There are proponents of the 2 drinks everyday theory. He pointed out that the ideal quantity for daily, weekly, or yearly consumption is 0 ML. The lesser the quantity the better. No alcohol was the best deal. But if someone wanted to be healthy, while not going to far extents of quitting alcohol completely, they could have 2 drinks per week. 2 drinks of 30 ml each and not 120 ml each. Alcohol lovers find it funny to joke around the just 1 drink idea by showing a glass of beer or wine of the size of a bucket. Sure, it gets you a few laughs but it remains miserable from a health point.

I credit my wife for convincing me out of this bad habit. She always pointed out my binge drinking. She was not happy with the way I conducted myself around close friends. She would remind me of my irresponsible behavior and getting lost in the flow. My guilt used to get amplified due to her reasoning. It is through these reprimands that I have reached a stage where I am able to live detached from the lure of alcohol.

Now that I am 100 days through to my staying clean journey, I feel happy to start living consciously. Spending quality time in Goa without the need to drink was a feather in the cap. The idea of ‘No Alcohol No Fun’ was proved wrong. It was one of the best Goa trips for me.

Each day is the same, energy-wise. I do not feel low days at work, at the gym, or otherwise. I eat better as a result and sleep better. Each morning I wake up fresh and energized. I have read 10 books this year and I started blogging. The idea that my body is now healing from the years of intoxication feels great and reassuring. My health is now assumingly more in my control. I have a better chance of achieving my fitness goals. There is also a chance to halt early aging.

Alcohol would have already caused damage to my DNA over the years of its abuse. There is a good chance that my offspring would be inclined towards abusing alcohol in their lifespan too. I feel bad about it. Maybe I too got this from my father who was surely drinking gallons before I was born. He continued it decades after. But I can be a good father and set an example through my own conduct. I would be in a moral position to ward them off from it. That would be tackled when the time arrives.

For now, I feel a sense of accomplishment to have taken this decision for myself. Maybe this was the change that my life needed for the better. It will certainly help me cognitively and fuel my desire to learn and grow. This would definitely help me age gracefully.

People may have differing opinions on drinking. They can manage their life around drinking. They are right in their views as every person has a different body and mind. One is free to choose what suits them and makes them feel good. I just expressed my personal experiences.

I am excited about the next post at 200 days. The counting of the days is just totemic. It is to make me realize how far I have traveled. I may stop it one day. But it reminds where I am coming from. It also reminds me of where I am going. I now love myself more than ever. This is euphoric in itself. Maybe this is the high of life I always sought.